Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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