I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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