We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
