hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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