We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
