For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
