is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
