Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
