It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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