New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
