..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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