You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
