I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think brook has ever known best
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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