It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
