i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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