Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
