Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
