I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
