Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
