so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
