Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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