you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Alive.
So much puke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
