he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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