Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
