All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
