i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
