Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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