i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
