I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
