Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
