He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
