he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
