Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
