the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
