she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
