I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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