Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
