Your tits are I can't wait for
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
