Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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