got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
