I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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