So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
