I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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