You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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