dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
