oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
