'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He did a backflip because drugs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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