I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
