just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
