He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
