I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
