Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's like heaven, but drunker
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
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