Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
